Do you feel like you’re married to a narcissist? If so, you know how challenging it can be to live with someone who has an inflated sense of their own importance and worth. Their constant need for attention and adoration might have driven you crazy during your marriage, too. But as much strife as you’ve faced coping with your spouse’s mental health condition during marriage, it can become even more problematic in your divorce.
This is because divorce proceedings and accusations of improper actions during marriage can throw a narcissist into crisis mode. Given their incessant desire to win everything, even seemingly minor disputes can blow up into huge fights.
But you don’t want those kinds of disagreements to stall your divorce or force you to hastily settle your divorce in a way that isn’t right for you. That’s why as you approach your marriage dissolution, you’ll want to do so with a plan.
Tips for divorcing your narcissist spouse
Even though your spouse can make your marriage dissolution difficult, there are things that you can do to make finalizing your divorce a little easier. This includes doing each of the following:
- Don’t take it personally: It can feel like your spouse’s words and actions are direct attacks on you. But they’re more of a reflection of your spouse’s mental health disorder. Keeping that in mind will help you keep the proper tone during your divorce.
- Consider seeking out your own mental health support: Dealing with a narcissistic spouse can leave you feeling stressed, overwhelmed and hurt. You don’t have to let your feelings get the best of you, though. Instead, you can seek out support from a therapist who can help you navigate the emotional complexities of your situation. You may find that this allows you to better focus on the legal challenges ahead of you.
- Be prepared: Your narcissist spouse is probably going to lie about a lot of things in order to try to prove their point. To avoid being taken by surprise, make sure that you have evidence to support your position and contradict your spouse. This may include medical and financial records, witness accounts, and expert testimony. The key is to anticipate how your spouse is going to try to fight back against your position.
- Find ways to let your spouse win: This might sound counterintuitive, but if you can identify areas where you can give in, that might give your spouse a sense that they are “winning” the divorce. This might reduce tension and make it easier to get what you want out of the divorce.
- Don’t take your spouse at their word: Even if your spouse promises that they’re going to do something during divorce, you’re best off not trusting them. Instead, you’ll want to get everything in writing so that your spouse can’t back out of an obligation when they think that it’s in their best interest.
Have an ally on your side to help you protect your interests
Dealing with the average divorce can be emotionally trying but coping with the realities of a divorce from a narcissist can be even more stressful and overwhelming than you ever imagined. With that said, you may find your fears alleviated when you know that you have a well-developed legal case backed by the zealous advocacy. If you want to know more about how an attorney can help you present your case in that way, now may be the time for you to consider reaching out to a law firm that interests you.